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Is There Something Wrong? Or, Why I’m Not a Lightworker

 

 

Perhaps it’s a character flaw, but too much sweetness and light really gets on my nerves.

 

Too much reflexive sending of prayers and “light and love” and healing vibes to remove all discomforts ever experienced seems ill-advised to me. When done in groups, there’s a déjà vu sense of the Easter parade of hats and outfits lining the aisle in church on the way to the chancel rail for communion – a showy display of the facades of publically professing faithfulness.

 

Too much enumerating of gratitudes as a technique to achieve the goal of being continually materially blessed just feels like another new age osteenian evangi-capitalist fantasy to me. An author in the Washington Post called it a “vapid bless-me club”. I wouldn’t go that far, but I feel the same ick factor.

 

I could be wrong.

 

Is this really how the spiritual path is supposed to be walked? I don’t think so.  What convinces me that this approach is not for me is that there is a dark and sick manipulative feeling attached when I come in contact with this way of being. Every time I run into it, it feels like a form of spiritual blackmail perpetrated by one’s deities as if they are telling masses – feed our egos with praise and we’ll throw you a few crumbs now and then.

 

Call me an iconoclast, but cooperating with that is not appealing to me.  Maybe it works for you.  If so, all power to ya.

 

This isn’t about cherished beliefs. It’s about public displays of ….. I don’t even know what to call it, exactly.  But it’s a huge contributing factor to why I’m not a lightworker.

 

Which is not to say that light isn’t good.  It is.  And as a shamanic practitioner, I also value the dark, the unknown, the gestational dynamics of the cycles of growth, the Great Mystery.

 

Perhaps I simply identify more as a spiritual warrior, believing in my own empowered abilities to meet the challenges life sets before me through applications of effort, intellect, respectfulness, learning, challenge, and integrity – without manipulations cloaked in (what would be from me) insincere hopes for distresslessness.

 

I look at Nature and see all sorts of growth and beauty that comes from an innate or instinctual intelligence or genetically encoded ability for personal problem solving.  Nature develops in unique ways, and in a holistic balance, through efforting to overcome. Removing this requirement from the human condition does not appear to be doing humanity as a whole, or individuals either, any favors.

 

So I’m not a lightworker per se because I want the whole enchilada, not just the sweetened sour cream on top. I’m not a lightworker because I work as much with the power of digging for what’s under the surface as I do with illuminating the larger truths. Both are required for balance, for holism, and for Life.

 

Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me after all.

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All unfolds as it must but deeper awareness allows

the trajectory of that unfolding to move in the direction of the Light.